THE LIBERATION OF LIMITATION

I'm finally feeling a little exhuberant, relieved even, to be moved out of our wonderful, beautiful, big ol' farmhouse. I won't deny that I've been crying a lot over the past couple of days--saying goodbye to the kitties, our awesomely rennovated bathroom, and the luxury of washing machines, fans and electricity....BUT today I woke up in our little transitional abode, (an off-the-grid cabin on my mom's land where we'll be for a few weeks before heading out) and I experienced a sublime Anxiety-Free Morning. Rare, as I'm sure you all can appreciate. The deep and urgent feeling of forward propulsion that keeps us (me?) alive was shockingly absent; the feeling that keeps us kicking-ass day in and day out, that keeps us moving and making and doing and checking our watches to make sure we're on top of our shit was startlingly, happily, chilling out somewhere else today. My house is moved out of, my job is quit, my business is officially on hold. I have only a small amount of stuff, no internet, and nothing completely urgent to do until we get on our bikes and ride away. Incredible, incredibly strange, but good no less.  

Background: Part of the reason I chose to study design was because I like parameters. Though an artist through and through, I am scared shitless of a blank page, a blank canvas, a cube of stone. Blankness means you need to decide--to make a choice about what to do, and I for one am utterly crippled by that. I need someone to tell me: here--you need to make a shirt, it better be good, and it needs to go on a person--go! Then I become creative like crazy. LIKE CRAZY! And I am so invigorated, and powerful and I will work incredibly hard. But without parameters or direction I become an indecisicive, fearful, nervous-nelly and I will never touch that canvas.  What I'm getting at, (now that I've shared this oh-so-deep insight) is this: having very little stuff feels a lot like parameters--it feels like LIBERATION from worry. Its as if the less choices one has (in what to wear, what to eat, what to do) the more free one is to just enjoy whatever it is that was chosen (to wear/eat/do).

This is not surprising of course, the overabundance of choice is part of the modern dilemma that makes us all crazy... But--for a lifelong lover, collector, and overall adorer of stuff its a newly intriguing feeling. Until now I've never ONCE been one of those people who says "I just got rid of so much stuff and I feel so good"--NEVER! But there you go--now I'm going to say it officially: I just got rid of a bunch of stuff, and I feel so good. Minimalism...how exotic. I think I like it. Even if I don't tomorrow, I think its going to be good for me.

For more deep thinking on choice: LISTEN TO THIS RADIOLAB
For more discussion about owning stuff: GO TO THIS WEBSITE